<CENTER> <FONT SIZE=-1><B>Sponsored in part by</B></FONT></CENTER> <CENTER><A HREF="/Maple-Square/"> <IMG SRC="/sports/Sportif/issues/maplead1.jpg" ATL=Maple Square Index></A> </CENTER> <blockquote> <HR SIZE=3> <P> <center> <img src=qom.gif alt="Questions O' The Month" width=383 height=46> <br> <b>May</b> </center> <hr size=4> <p> <center> <h1>"Welcome Back, Kotter" Trivia</h1> </center> <p> Wake the kids, call the neighbors... it's time once again for LCS: Guide to Hockey <em>Questions o' the Month.</em> Each month one lucky reader, or maybe more if we feel generous, will win a handsome official LCS: Guide to Hockey T-shirt by simply answering correctly ten multiple-choice questions and one thought-provoking essay. <p> <b>This Month:</b> Sadly, this is the last LCS QOM of the season. And of all the QOMs this is, without doubt, the easiest. So don't blow it. <p> When trying to decide which show would be the subject of the final QOM, several possibilities came to mind... <em>"The Bob Newhart Show"</em>, <em>"The Mary Tyler Moore Show"</em>, <em>"Get Smart"</em>, even <em>"F-Troop"</em>. But one show rose above the rest... <b><em>"Welcome Back, Kotter"</em></b>. <p> Yes, <em>"Welcome Back, Kotter"</em> was a true classic. And since we consider ourselves the Sweat Hogs of the hockey reportin' industry, it seemed like a natural choice. Sure, the fourth season was pretty lame, what with Mr. Kotter only in about three episodes and Vinnie also not around as much, but the show was still good stuff. Episode 23, entitled "Sweatside Story", could very well be one of the top ten funniest TV shows of all time. The episode features the Sweat Hogs, decked out in purple- and-orange silk jackets that were real wizard, preparing to rumble with a neighboring gang led by the Sweat Hogs' arch- nemesis, Carvelli. One of the best parts is when Epstein has a note explaining why he couldn't take part in the Sweat Hogs' gang initiation: <p> "Please excuse Juan from the gang initiation. He has an inner- ear problem... he hates to hear himself scream. <p> <em>Epstein's Mother</em>" <p> Aw, that was great, that was fun. Of course, past readers of the QOM will remember that the single greatest episode of television in history is episode 64 of <em>"Taxi"</em>, entitled "Latka the Playboy". <p> Before we get to the questions, here is a quick run down of the rules for the contest... <p> <b>Rules:</b> Winners of the contest will be determined in the following manner. First, all ten multiple-choice questions must be answered correctly. The final essay question will then be read by LCS and if we like your response (we're not picky) you will be qualified to enter the prize drawing. From the qualified entries a winner will be selected in a random drawing and will receive an official <em>LCS: Guide to Hockey T-shirt</em>. If no one answers all ten questions correctly, we could still award a shirt if someone comes pretty close and gives a good honest effort... but don't count on it, Kenny. Contest results will be posted the 1st of each month, winners will be notified via email. Only one entry per person per month is permitted, duplicate entries will be discarded. <p> For the correct answers to the previous month's questions and a list of winners, check out our <a href="http://www.canadas.net/sports/sportif/qom/97aprwin.asp">page o' smart people</a>. Now on to this month's questions... <hr> <BR> <FORM action="mailto:sportif@oak.westol.com" oldaction="/scripts/dbml.exe?Template=/sportif/qom.dbm" METHOD="POST"> <INPUT TYPE="hidden" NAME="Name_required"> <INPUT TYPE="hidden" NAME="Email_required"> <INPUT TYPE="hidden" NAME="City_required"> <INPUT TYPE="TEXT" NAME="Name"><font size=+1>Y</font>our Name<BR> <INPUT TYPE="TEXT" NAME="Email"><font size=+1>Y</font>our Email Address<BR> <INPUT TYPE="TEXT" NAME="City"><font size=+1>Y</font>our City<BR> <br> <b>1.</b> Everyone knows that Gabe Kotter grew up in Brooklyn, attending James Buchanan High as one of the original Sweat Hogs. But where was his wife Julie from? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionA" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Arkansas <OPTION>Indiana <OPTION>Iowa <OPTION>Nebraska </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>2.</b> Throughout their long and storied history as the school's remedial delinquents, the Sweat Hogs' mortal enemy at James Buchanan High was vice principal Mr. Woodman. Nicknamed "Woodface" for his stodgy nature, what was Mr. Woodman's first name? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionB" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Michael <OPTION>Jonathan <OPTION>Richard <OPTION>Henry </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>3.</b> The Sweat Hogs were, of course, Vinnie Barbarino, Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington, Juan Epstein, and Arnold Horshack. That big southern dork they brought in during the final season doesn't count because, well, he was a dork. However, the show once tried to introduce an official girl Sweat Hog. In hopes of impressing the guys, who originally told her there were no girls allowed in the Sweat Hogs, this lovely blonde-haired lass pulled a prank on Mr. Woodman, dumping a whole mess of water on the loveable curmudgeon. Unfortunately, the prank backfired and the Sweat Hogs got blamed. What was this Sweat-Hog-wannabe's name? <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionC" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Jenny <OPTION>Angie <OPTION>Rosalee <OPTION>Verna Jean </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>4.</b> In an amazing two-part story, the Sweat Hogs entered a state-wide school talent contest as a singing group. They called themselves "The Three Do's and a Don't", with Vinnie being the lead singer and lone "Don't". They ripped up the semifinals, killing the crowd with a combination 50's doo-wop and 70's disco rendition of the song "Jeepers, Creepers", while wearing blue- and-gold glittering jumpsuits. Yes, it was truly something special. <p> The only catch was that Vinnie started to fall in love with a girl who was also in the competition. Instead of going against his new love, Vinnie quit the singing group. What was the name of the girl that momentarily broke up "The Three Do's and a Don't"? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionD" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Sally <OPTION>Cassy <OPTION>Meghan <OPTION>Veronica </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>5.</b> Which Sweat Hog once wanted to be a veterinarian? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionE" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Barbarino <OPTION>Epstein <OPTION>Horshack <OPTION>Washington </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>6.</b> In one wacky episode, Carvelli challenges the Sweat Hogs to a boxing match. Wanting to prove that he's a bad man, Horshack insists on accepting the challenge. The hilarity ensues. However, the thing that makes this episode so wacky is that a famous comedian wrote the script. Who was he? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionF" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Jerry Seinfeld <OPTION>Billy Crystal <OPTION>David Letterman <OPTION>Garry Shandling </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>7.</b> During the series, Gabe and Julie Kotter became the proud parents of twin girls. What were their names? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionG" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Rachel and Robin <OPTION>Mary and Michele <OPTION>Julie and Gabriella <OPTION>Valerie and Veronica </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>8.</b> Mr. Kotter's class was saving money in order to have a big party at the end of the year. Except when they went to count how much bread they had saved, the scratch was gone. The class immediately jumped to zany conclusions and eventually staged a mock trial. Which Sweat Hog got blamed for taking the money? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionH" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Barbarino <OPTION>Epstein <OPTION>Horshack <OPTION>Washington </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>9.</b> Arnold once tried to bring respect to the Sweat Hogs by trying out for the school play. Horshack did get one of the leads, but the other Sweat Hogs made so much fun of him that he split. What famous part was Arnold portraying? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionI" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Hamlet <OPTION>Romeo <OPTION>Cyrano de Bergerac <OPTION>Don Knotts </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>10.</b> Always trying to stay one step ahead of the man, Epstein worked out a deal to purchase term papers for the Sweat Hogs from Carvelli. The only problem was that the term papers weren't exactly new. In fact, the one Epstein handed in was the same paper turned in by Mr. Kotter when he was in school. That's not to say that Mr. Kotter wrote it either, but he did hand it in. Anyway, the question is, who or what was Vinnie's paper about? <p> <ul> <SELECT Name="QuestionJ" SIZE=4> <OPTION>Joan of Arc <OPTION>Franklin D. Roosevelt <OPTION>Joseph Stalin <OPTION>The Great Irish Potato Famine </SELECT> </ul> <P> <b>Essay:</b> Mr. Kotter was famous for telling his wife jokes about his many wacky uncles and aunts. On one occasion, however, Mr. Kotter was actually involved in one of his own jokes. The couple was discussing the subject of adoption when Mr. Kotter told this gem. To get credit for the essay, just finish the punch line. <P> "You know, Julie, I always thought I was adopted. I remember, it was the day of my high school graduation that I finally got up the nerve to ask my parents. I sat my dad down and said, "Lei Chin, am I adopted?" And my father said, <em>(note: you have to say this part in a real phoney Chinese accent) No, you not adopted. You... " <p> <b>Answer:</b> <P> </blockquote> <textarea name="QuestionK" rows=10 cols=50></textarea> <P> </ul> <center> <input type="submit" value="SUBMIT"> <input type="reset" value="RESET"></center> </form> <P> <hr size=4><P> <center> <a href="http://www.canadas.net/sports/Sportif/"><img src="lcsbar6h.gif" alt="lcs" border="0"></a><P> <font size="-1">LCS: Guide to Hockey © Copyright 1997 <b>LCS</b></font></center> </body>