NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman held a media conference call last week to discuss a variety of topics. The following is a transcript of the exchange with the usual LCS Hockey touch, meaning that I've changed all the questions in order to confuse and bewilder. Enjoy.

LCS: Good afternoon, Commissioner. And I use that term loosely. Let's get right to it. Have you always been a corporate weasel? Or did you go to some sort of school for corporate weasels? How does that work?

Gary Bettman

GARY BETTMAN: Well, actually the decision that was made by the Board of Governors almost a year ago was that we should begin phasing in the two-referee system. And the game plan is to keep moving ahead, unless there's a reason not to. And based on the experience that we had through the first part of the season through the end of February, the results were overwhelmingly positive.

And while we had not planned necessarily to use the two-referee system for the playoffs, we were sufficiently pleased how it worked in the regular season; that we wanted to expedite the phase-in period. We're planning on going full bore ahead into next season and beyond as we continue to phase the system in.

LCS: Okay, now exactly when did you get duel citizenship as both a corporate weasel and a corporate whore? Is it tough wearing both hats?

GARY BETTMAN: Well, actually it wouldn't come as any great surprise to anyone that since I'm ultimately responsible for everything that happens in the League office. I was fully aware of the deliberations and had whatever input was appropriate, and I think that Colin's decision in this case was certainly consistent with the edict we've been operating under this year, which is we're protecting heads.

LCS: Gary, my man, it's obvious that the punk-ass goal crease rule has to go. It's a disgrace to the sport and is crippling the game. Anyone with an ounce of common sense can see that it should be abolished. What are your thoughts on the rule? And please don't use some gay argument from football about a guy catching a pass out of bounds. Because the last time I checked football wasn't played on ice. So please, for the love of Don Knotts, don't use that lame argument.

GARY BETTMAN: It's interesting. It doesn't have an ugly head. The rule, which is the zero tolerance rule using replay, is working consistently. The problems that we've had in prior years have been worked out. The issue is more of one of, I guess, we'll call it aesthetics. There are certain goals there are being disallowed. They are being disallowed appropriately under the rule, but people are questioning whether we should do that. You don't hear in football when a guy catches a 40-yard pass in the air and comes down with his foot on the line in the end zone and they call it out of bounds, people don's say -"it's just his toe."

We're going through a bit of that. Colin -- at the General Managers' meetings in February -- showed the General Managers a videotape of about 10 or 12 such goals, and it was the view of the General Managers overwhelmingly to leave the rule alone.

However, we think that after the season is over, we are going to look at the rule again and decide whether or not we want no harm no foul, or whether or not we want to keep zero tolerance using video replay. The rule is working fine. It's just a question of some people don't like the fact that it's an absolute, clear-cut rule, which when you take into account the fact that we did shrink the crease for this year, wasn't an unreasonable rule for us to start the season with.

LCS: What the hell did I say about not using the football comparison? C'mon, work with me here. Pay attention to me when I'm talkin' to ya, boy. I'm cuttin' but you ain't bleedin'. Let's go on to something else. Do you like pie?

GARY BETTMAN: You know, the process is ongoing. We've been in touch with the IIHF, and we continue to focus on this from NBC and other perspectives. We're not ready to announce anything, but when we are and we are buttoned down to the extent that we and the Players' Association, because obviously any decision is a joint decision with the Players Association, we'll then make it public.

LCS: You're kind of a little fella. When you go to the movies do you ever try to sneak in with just a children's ticket?

GARY BETTMAN: What's absolutely clear is that no one else will ever wear this number again. Wayne was quoted at some point in the last three or four days as saying that he and I had had a discussion over in the summer in the abstract as to whether or not he chose when to retire. And I wasn't trying to be prophetic at the time but would he want a retirement tour, and he said, "No". Whether or not in this context he would want to go around from building to building is something that at some point he and I will discuss. But I'm respecting his desire to let things just calm down and in the next few weeks or months how he would like to see this effectuated is something that we'll talk about. But the number is retired.

LCS: Did you ever see that movie "Wild Things"? It doesn't get much better than seeing Denise Richards and Neve Campbell go at it. That was some wild, wild stuff. Am I right?

GARY BETTMAN: Don't take the small market Canadian Assistance Program for granted so quickly. It was an important step to for this League. It's been unanimously adopted year after year. It involves many millions of dollars. We believe that maintaining a strong presence; having all six of our Canadian teams healthy and competitive is a vital League priority, and we're going to continue working on not only League economics but the issues that are particularly unique to the Canadian teams which include the taxation issues and the Canadian currency issues.

LCS: I've been sick for like the last three weeks. I wake up every morning with a sore throat and my tongue is blistered and covered with a thick coating of mucus. Think it's anything I should worry about?

GARY BETTMAN: I think that our young superstars will continue to develop and mature. I think Wayne set the standard and led by example and I think just being around him has been an opportunity the younger players to learn and grow. And there have been lots of discussions including from Wayne himself about setting up some sort of orientation program for all the young players when they come into the League. And we're going to continue to look for ways to make sure that our players as a group continue to be the terrific ambassadors for the sport that they are.

I mean, our players and you know this, you all know this on the call, are the best in sports in terms of dealing with fans and dealing with the media and how they conduct themselves. It's just Wayne set a standard so far above what anybody in any sport has ever done; it's the comparison that causes the question to get raised.

LCS: Can I borrow twenty bucks?

GARY BETTMAN: First of all, you never replace a Wayne Gretzky. But the fact is he helped build a tremendous foundation that we can grow from. The good news is that over the last five years sponsor spending and investment in the League has grown 12-fold and has never been higher. And if you look at some of the national advertisements that you see, players like Fedorov, Shanahan, and Hasek are being prominently featured. Sundin as well. And I'm leaving many out. We always knew that at some point in time, Wayne would retire, and our focus and our attention over the last few years which is the later stages of his career has been on the game and on him and on other emerging stars. And we have a lot of them. We believe that we will continue to grow. This League will continue to get stronger. If Wayne were ten years younger, maybe the process would speed along at a much greater rate. But we're heading in a good direction in large measure because of the foundation that he helped to lay.

LCS: Do you agree with me that The Rock is indeed the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today?

GARY BETTMAN: Well, we talk to the Players' Association all the time on a regular basis. The fact is over the last three years, we have repeatedly raised this as something that we think would be better if we could make it earlier in the season. And at this point, we haven't been made aware of any in sentiment from the Players' Association, and we cannot do this unilaterally. Any change would require the consent of the Players' Association. I do plan to revisit the issue again to ask the question and see if we can get into a good dialogue on the subject in the off-season.

LCS: Wouldn't you like to read a book written by me, Michael Dell, editor-in-chief of LCS Hockey?

GARY BETTMAN: As I've said for the last three years, we think it would be better if it were earlier in the season, and I don't think there's any change in the view of that. There's no dispute internally on our side. We would like to see the trading deadline earlier in the season. That's not a new issue.

LCS: Well I didn't want you to read it anyway!

[ issues | nhl archive | home | nhl history | about us | search | comments ]