Payback is a...well, sunshine.

Dallas Stars defenseman Derian Hatcher found that out when he was slapped with a seven-game suspension by the NHL for his devastating hit on Phoenix Coyotes center Jeremy Roenick.

Hatcher and the rest of the Stars weren't happy with the ruling. They believed it was too severe a penalty to pay, especially with the playoffs right around the corner. Hatcher sat out the last two games of the regular season, but will still miss the first five games of the playoffs. The Stars open the postseason against the Edmonton Oilers.

Hatcher might not think the suspension is fair, but perhaps he should ask Roenick about paybacks, retribution and fairness.

Roenick initiated the animosity between the two clubs on March 23 when he knocked Mike Modano out of the game with a blindsided check. Modano was wheeling and dealing behind the Phoenix net. As he cut behind the goal, he dished out a pass. After he let the puck go he came around the other side of the net. Roenick, ever the hard-nosed hockey player, leveled an unsuspecting Modano with a clean check. Modano left the game to get stitches over his right eye but returned in the Stars' next contest.

Roenick was given a five-minute major for boarding and a game misconduct. The Stars thought he should have been suspended. Roenick didn't. The league gave no suspension.

"Look, this isn't the first time I've been through something like this," Roenick told reporters after the incident. "But I really don't know what the big deal is with them. Modano played the next game, didn't he? Plus, I saw that game against Tampa Bay and the hit one of their guys put on (LCS Hockey hero) Darcy Tucker was 10 times worse than my hit so I don't want to hear any of them yapping."

The incident might have calmed down some, but Roenick's teammate, and resident NHL frat boy, Keith Tkachuk spoke up. He told the Stars that if they thought the hit was wrong they should do something about it.

Hatcher took Tkachuk's advice.

The next time the teams met, payback happened. Roenick carried a puck near the boards behind the Dallas net. As he skated toward the near boards, Dallas defenseman Craig Ludwig broke his thumb with a slash. Seconds later, Hatcher skated toward J.R., left his skates and forearm-shivered Roenick's head against the seamless glass. The hit from the 6-foot-5-inch defenseman caused Roenick to topple to the ice. His jaw was dislocated and broken in three places. Eight teeth were cracked or broken. Roenick underwent five and a half hours of surgery to correct the injury and will miss the entire playoffs.

After the hit, things got ugly and a war of words began. The Coyotes thought Hatcher should be suspended as long as Roenick was out of action.

"It's a sunshine joke," Tkachuk said. "We lose a guy who has been our leading scorer and best centerman all year to a piece of dung like Hatcher. It was a premeditated incident. He said it in the newspapers he was going to get him and he did.

"The guy is a sunshine rat. They said it's the worst shattering they've ever seen. Let's see what Colin Campbell and Gary Bettman do. Hatcher should not play in the playoffs for as long as Jeremy Roenick doesn't play."

While Tkachuk swore up a storm out of a mouth that only a mother could love, his teammate, Rick Tocchet, brought up a good point.

"I've played 15 years in this league and if somebody does something wrong to you or a teammate and you want to get even, you drop the gloves and fight like a man," Tocchet said. "Especially when you say all week you're going to get a guy. You drop and say, 'Let's go.' Then fine, if you break my jaw, that's hockey.

"But when a 6-5 guy jumps four feet in the air and throws an elbow, that's a different story. Colin Campbell has to make a statement here. It just as well could've been someone's eye or something like that."

Tocchet, you see, is old-school NHL. He's a tough guy from the pre-Bettman 1980s when fighting was still cool. If he had a problem with someone, he'd skate up to them and beat the sunshine out of them. He wouldn't try any cheap shots. He'd say "Hey, sunshine, come over here so I can kick your sunshine sunshine."

But in today's NHL, fighting is seen as barbaric and really, really bad. So instead of messing up Czar Bettman's chances of getting a good TV deal or free dinner at Disneyworld, players will use their sticks or take a run at an unsuspecting opponent.

That's the retribution of today's NHL. That's also part of what's wrong with today's NHL.

After that hit on Roenick, the two sides needed one more game to settle the score. The next meeting saw Eddie Belfour slewfoot Tkachuk near center ice. It saw Tkachuk come back at Belfour and throw some blows. It saw Darryl Sydor have to protect his goaltender and get pummeled by Tkachuk in a fight.

But believe it or not, that fight got a lot of the tension into the open and cleared the air. Some parts of the argument were settled on that night. But the entire score won't be settled until the Coyotes play Hatcher again. There is more retribution to be handed out.

Had Hatcher just gone up to Roenick and fought him instead of turning him into Frogger against the boards, things probably would have been different. Hatcher would have stuck up for his teammate and sent a message not to mess with Modano. Roenick would have stood up for himself and said, "Hey, I might not have meant harm to Modano, but I can handle whatever you got."

Things could have been a lot different. Both players could have been available to their respective teams in the first round of the playoffs. But now, as Roenick and Hatcher watch the postseason from the outside, they'll probably be thinking about one thing:

Payback is a bitc...err, sunshine.

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