Are you like me? Do ya, do ya have the Playoff Fever? That's okay, because neither do I. But the NHL postseason is just around the corner. Now's the time to update the races and see what's up.

I intended to write a hilariously funny article doing just that, full of sarcasm and lame jokes, but unfortunately an emergency shortly before deadline made it impossible. Yes, that's right, I dropped the bottle.

So I'll just make this all brief like. In the East, what the hell, I'll say the Senators will hold off the Devils for the top seed. New Jersey has the easier schedule, but winning the conference means more to the Sens. They'll be mission men.

Carolina is locked into the three hole thanks to the kindness of its Southeastern buddies. Toronto should have the fourth slot all wrapped up. The confusion starts from five to eight. Philadelphia and Pittsburgh are both crippled by injuries. Buffalo has had all sorts of grief scoring goals. Of late, Boston has been the best of the four, but they're hardly a powerhouse.

Boston and Buffalo each have a game in hand on their Pennsylvania rivals. And the Bruins would seem to have the easiest schedule, drawing Florida once and Tampa Bay twice in its final six games. Pittsburgh has four of its final five games on the road, and the Birds blow away from the Igloo. And then there's also Jagr causin' worry in the room. Look for Pittsburgh to plummet and Boston and Buffalo to move up.

Out West, Dallas is cemented at the top. Colorado will hold off Detroit for the second seed and home ice in their eventual second-round meeting. Phoenix is a solid four and Anaheim should be secure at number five. I'm going to get a little crazy and say that San Jose catches St. Louis for the sixth seed, dropping the Blue Note to the seventh slot. And I'm going with Calgary to prevail in the Battle of Alberta for the eighth and final playoff berth. Never bet against a Sutter. But this is definitely the race to watch, with El Scorcho and the Bubbling Crude playing each other three times in the final six games. Should make for a lot of hey hey.

Here's a quick breakdown of games left and whatnot. Keep in mind that in case of a tie, the team with the most wins takes it. If they remain tied it goes to the higher number of points earned against one another. The third tie-breaker is goal differential for the entire regular season. If they're still tied the matter will then be settled by that yodeling mountain climber game on "The Price Is Right." I'm not exactly sure how they do it, but they do it. It's in the rulebook. Look it up.

EASTERN CONFERENCE
SEED CLUB       G PTS   W  GAMES LEFT
1. Ottawa       6  98  43  at Tor, TOR, BUF, FLA, NYR, at Car
2. New Jersey   6  95  42  WSH, at Mtl, NYI, at Buf, PHI, at Nsh
3. Carolina     5  80  32  at Mtl, at NYI, WSH, at T.B, OTT
4. Toronto      5  91  42  OTT, at Ott, FLA, NYI, at Mtl
5. Pittsburgh   5  86  36  at Phi, at Det, at Bos, NYI, at NYR
6. Philadelphia 5  86  34  PIT, at Wsh, BUF, at N.J, BOS
7. Buffalo      6  85  35  FLA, at Ott, at Phi, N.J, at Bos, WSH
8. Boston       6  83  35  at Fla, at T.B, T.B, PIT, BUF, at Phi

WESTERN CONFERENCE
SEED CLUB       G PTS   W  GAMES LEFT  
1. Dallas       6 106  47  ANA, NYR, L.A, PHX, at Phx, at Col
2. Colorado     5  92  41  NSH, at StL, at Cgy, at Edm, DAL
3. Detroit      5  88  41  VAN, at StL, PIT, NSH, at Chi
4. Phoenix      5  88  38  NSH, at Ana, at Dal, STL, DAL
5. Anaheim      6  80  34  at Dal, S.J, PHX, STL, at L.A, at S.J
6. St. Louis    6  78  33  at Wsh, DET, COL, at Ana, at Phx, at L.A
7. San Jose     5  77  30  at L.A, at Ana, EDM, L.A, ANA
8. Calgary      6  68  28  at Edm, EDM, VAN, at Van, COL, at Edm
9. Edmonton     6  67  28  CGY, at Cgy, at Van, at S.J, COL, CGY

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