We love to answer letters from you, our valued readers. Here's the proof. And, as always, letters may be edited for content in cases when the writer rambles incoherently or says something funnier than me.

SNOW FAN
Reasons why Garth Snow should be taken off the lame list

Reason #5 - In practice, Snow sees Brad May streaking in on net with his head down end to end. Snow skates out to challenge and comes sliding in with stacked pads. The two meet at the blue line. Snow makes the save and May does this wicked loop-de-loop. When he recovers he threatens the lives of Snow and his dog. If he does that to his teammates, imagine what he does to the other team!?!?!?

Reason #4 - He plays for the Canucks, has faced 1322 shots in 49 games. Yet he's still helping the team fight for the slimmest of playoff spots.

Reason #3 - He doesn't have Pedro and his brother as shoulder pads anymore.

Reason #2 - Brian Burke thinks he sucks (Brian Burke also insisted that Dave Gagner was the key to the Bure deal).

And the number one reason why Garth Snow shouldn't be on the Lame list....

Reason #1 - Because that's where guys like Milbury, Keenan, and Don Cherry belong.

Steve Peckenpaugh

LCS: Good effort. I especially liked the reference to Georghe and Pedro. But in the end, Garth Snow remains a dork. Some men are born dorks. Some men achieve dorkdom. Some men have dorkdom thrust upon them. Snow's a little bit of this, a little bit of that...

WHAT NO WITT?
Darius at #1? Sure, there's a little Yinzer in all of us, but not #1! Anyway, next time add Brendan Witt to the list. He's a cult hero of sorts in the DC/Baltimore area at the alternative rock station here (WHFS). Hangs out with bands at the 9:30 club, and has become hockey's spokesman to the burnout post-grunge 20- somethings in the area. Plus on the ice he beats up people.

Izzy Zeumer

LCS: Watch yourself about Kaspar. As for Witt, he is a pretty cool guy. But he'll have a tough time cracking the list with so many cool, high-scoring superstars out there at the moment. He's really gong to have to do something impressive. Might I suggest a blood feud with Darcy Tucker?

JUST WONDERING...
I was wondering: is this a full-time job for you? And how many of the other staff work full-time? Is it all done through the internet or is there an office?

Josh Davidson

LCS: This is sort of a full time job for me. But I do supplement my income with my dancing career. And hey, I know what you're thinking, but it's interpretive not exotic.

As for the rest of the staff, we usually find them through the kindness of various work-release programs from area hospitals and prisons. So they really don't work full time for us. It's sort of part for us, part for the community.

And yes, we do have an office. Although some people might refer to is as a "bar."

KEENAN PEN PAL
Hi, I was wondering if you knew of Mike Keenan's e-mail. Thanks.

Rob Ivezich

LCS: I'm not really sure how to contact Mike Keenan. I think he was doing stuff with The Sporting News, so you could check there for him. But while we're on the subject, I recently received a letter in the mail from Kenny Bloom, the president of the official Mike Keenan Fan Club. Apparently, Kenny is having some difficulty adjusting to life without Mike Keenan. I'll try to update his condition in a future issue of LCS Hockey.

Darcy Tucker by Meredith Martini

TUCKER FAN
Hi. I saw your Darcy Tucker tribute issue of LCS Hockey. I think it's great that you're getting the word out about him. I'm a Lightning season ticket holder and a huge Tucker fan. I was the first person to have a Lightning Tucker jersey. Anyway... I have had the Darcy Tucker Fan Page (http://members.tripod. com/~tucker16) up for about a year now. I was just wondering if you'd like to put a link to it. Keep up the good work.

Thanks,
Erin

LCS: Thanks for the swell letter and the dedication to our hero, Darcy Tucker. Hopefully the tribute issue will bring more attention to the cause. All hail Darcy Tucker. Darcy Tucker is good.

WHATEVER
Why are you such an idiot?

Terry Malloy

LCS: Practice, practice, practice.

HONESTY, SWEET HONESTY
I've been reading LCS hockey for a while now, and it is light years ahead of not just other Internet hockey sites, but any printed sports publication out on the market. My first introduction to your site was through the America Online favorite sites section on their sports/hockey "channel." Since then other so-called hockey news journals seem empty and trivial to me, and I can't help but notice their striking inferiority. LCS hockey was like a bright, blinding beam of enlightenment shining into the darkened den of ignorance that I had unknowingly lived in all these years.

It reminds me of ESPN on its good nights, in that it is top-notch sports journalism that is intelligently conveyed, but with a sense of humor. However, the humor in LCS is of a superior brand, because it is less reserved, and a little less polite, and, most importantly, quite a bit more humorous.

Normally I am not one to send unsolicited praise, but the most recent issue of LCS, with editor-in-chief Michael Dell's comedic and literary masterstroke of dedicating an entire issue to Darcy Tucker, moved me to express my gratitude for this publication. I learned and I laughed as never before. This issue is a monument to the creativity, compassion, courage and genius of humanity; it is a masterpiece of journalistic innovation. LCS is defining a new genre, a new era, and a new standard for sports reporters of this planet Earth. I can only pray that they are taking note.

Michael Kopp

LCS: Now that's a letter! Thank you very much, Michael. I really appreciate it. I don't believe a word of it, but I appreciate it nonetheless. It's times like these that I'm so grateful for the miracle of modern prescription drugs and all the joy they bring.

BOOK?
Is it true that Michael Dell is writing a book? I've heard things. What's it about? And where can I buy one?

Melina Belich

LCS: Yes, it is true, I am currently working on my first novel. Although, it will actually be my second book. Because as we all know, my book of Haikus, entitled "Haikus? I Got Your Haikus Right Here," can already be found at better bookstores everywhere.

But back to the whole novel thing, it's very close to completion. It has nothing to do with hockey and can be best described as "101 Dalmatians" except with more dogs. Seriously, it's got a little bit of everything... sex, violence, adventure... and that's just the dedication.

If I can ever get away from all this LCS crap I might be able to finish it within the next month. So if you're a publisher or literary agent searching for the next big writing talent that will eventually drink himself to death and die a lonely, lonely man, look no further than this guy!

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