As many on you may have noticed, I really wasn't involved with the last issue, at least as far as editing and writing goes. I took the issue off in order to embark on a rigorous journey across North America to spread the gospel of LCS Hockey.

With personal appearances set in Philadelphia, New York, Dover, Chicago, St. Louis, Denver, and Los Angeles, it was my duty to take the word of LCS Hockey to the people.

We knew beforehand that the impact of such a whirlwind publicity tour could prove to be very beneficial. Many among the inner circle felt this would be, without doubt, the defining moment in the life of LCS Hockey. The very future of the grand publication would be resting on my actions in the days to follow. I knew the responsibility involved and I accepted it. I would be under constant pressure to perform every step of the way... and loving it.

Now, as I sit here typing this drivel, it's hard to believe that it's all over. The two weeks came and went in a blur. Thankfully, the memories will live on. Wanting to share my experiences with you, our valued readers, I kept a journal of my personal two-week Odyssey. It's inspiring, it's exciting, it will make you feel what it means to be alive.

Read. Share. Enjoy.

THE LCS HOCKEY PUBLICITY TOUR

DAY 1: Wanting to get on the road early, I woke up at the ungodly hour of two in the afternoon. I wasn't happy about it. This strange, orange glowing object in the sky furthered my disenchantment. But I had to persevere. I had to continue. All of LCS Hockey was depending on me. There was just one problem. I couldn't find my car keys. Considering this an ominous sign, I decided to go back to sleep.

DAY 2: Still couldn't find car keys. Maybe tomorrow.

DAY 3: Found keys but couldn't find car. Went back to sleep.

DAY 4: Found car, but misplaced keys. Found keys again. Lost keys. Found keys. Lost. Found. Lost. Found. This ongoing game of cat and mouse drained my strength something fierce. I was in no shape to drive. Went back to sleep.

DAY 5: When I woke up I had no idea where the hell I was. It was quite frightening. With no other option at my disposal, I decided to go back to sleep and hoped that someone would take me home while I slumbered. It wasn't until later that I realized I had just fallen asleep upside-down in my bed and had really been in my own room the entire time. I was so relieved that I slept peacefully for the rest of the day.

DAY 6: It was kind of nippy outside. I chill easily. And it is the cold and flu season. Didn't want to risk it. Stayed home and slept.

DAY 7: Columbo was on.

DAY 8: Something just didn't feel "right."

DAY 9: Actually left the house and got in the car. Drove all the way to the end of my street before forgetting where I was going. Turned around and came home.

DAY 10: Was occupied by a shiny bronze object I found on the floor. It was small, thin, and round in shape. Apparently some sort of pagan currency, on one side it had the words "In God We Trust" printed above a picture of a man resembling Ike Turner. Studied it for hours. Took a break. Studied it some more. Went to sleep.

DAY 11: Can no longer remember why I'm keeping this journal. Must be a homework assignment of some sort. But I don't go to school. Maybe my therapist asked me to do it as a way for me to get in touch with myself? Wait, I don't have a therapist. Then who is that lady? And why do I pay her eighty- five bucks an hour? Oh wait. Never mind.

DAY 12: Discovered that crayons are not candy. They actually taste like wax. Purple is my favorite.

DAY 13: A black plastic box in the corner of the room began to make a ringing sound. It would pause for a brief moment and then ring again. Clearly it was bewitched by some evil magical power. I turned off the lights and hid under the bed until it stopped.

DAY 14: Zippy came by to see how the publicity tour went. I said, "What publicity tour?" He laughed and said, "No, seriously, how'd it go?" Not knowing how to respond, I said, "Cool." He seemed pleased. He asked a few more questions. I answered each one by saying "cool." He left. I went to sleep.

[ issues | nhl archive | home | nhl history | about us | search | comments ]