MORE TIE TRIPE
The NHL brain trust is at it again. Still looking for a way to settle tie games, the league has decided to experiment with playing the overtime session four skaters a side. And who gets to be the lab monkey? The AHL, of course. The American Hockey League will use the new overtime format for the remainder of the season. The NHL suits will then study the results and make yet another idiotic proposal at some point in the future.

What is wrong with these people? You can't play four-on-four in overtime. That's weak. If you think it's such a swell idea for OT, then why not play the entire game four-on-four? You know why you couldn't do that? Because then it wouldn't be hockey! It's a five-on-five world out there, skating fours is just a pathetic gimmick.

Hey, I have an idea. How about we play sixty minutes of hockey and then, if the game is tied, settle things with three innings of baseball. It's the same principle. Four-on-four hockey is not hockey. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Apparently no one is listening to me, but the best solution to the quandary is to just play until somebody scores. If it's good enough for the playoffs, it's good enough for the regular season. I don't want to get too involved in arguing the point, since I already wrote an award-winning article on this very subject like in issue 106 or something, but there's really no reason this format couldn't be adopted. Sure, some travel plans might get screwed, but who cares? Oh yeah, I forgot, we wouldn't want to inconvenience the millionaires.

If you're too yella to play until someone scores, then I've got a Plan B. No points for a tie. That's right, if a game ends in a draw then neither team gets a point. This would force clubs to actually try in win games in overtime and not simply survive them. Two points or nothing. It won't do away with the problem of ties completely, but at least it would add plenty of excitement to the equation.

And in case you're wondering, shootouts are still gay.

FEDOROV'S NICE AND STUFF
Sergei Fedorov, in the midst of a disappointing season with the Red Wings, has announced that he will donate his entire $2 million salary to charity. The money will be used to establish a foundation to help kids around the Detroit area. It's tough to boo a guy that donates $2 million to charity. Sure, Fedorov's got more money than Oprah, but it's still an amazing thing to do. Way to go, Sergei.

This really is quite the gesture on Fedorov's part. I was so touched that I've decided to donate my entire seven-figure salary to charity, as well. Sure, all the figures are zeroes, but what the hell? It's for charity.

Rob Ray by Meredith Martini

RAY HONORED
Rob Ray was recently recognized for his tireless charitable contributions and community service with the second annual NHL Foundation Player Award. The award is given to an NHL player who applies the core values of hockey -- commitment, perseverance, and teamwork -- to enrich the lives of people in his community. Ray will be presented a grant of $25,000 to donate to the local charitable organizations of his choice.

Ray has had long-term associations with the Roswell Park Cancer Institute, Children's Hospital, March of Dimes Birth Defects Foundation, and the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Western New York. In addition, he awards an $8,000 annual scholarship to a local college student, makes more than 75 hospital visits a year, and has developed the "Rob Ray's Christmas Program", which provides clothing, toys, and food to families during the holiday season.

"I am honored and humbled to receive the NHL Foundation Player Award, particularly since I was selected among my peers throughout the League," said Ray. "I am privileged to play hockey for a living, and proud to call Buffalo my home, and if I can make a difference in people's lives through making an effort in the community, I think it's the least I can do."

No, Rob, it's not the least you can do. Take it from me. Just when you think I do nothing I always find a way to do less.

If you're scoring at home, Kelly Chase won the award in its inaugural year.

Tony Amonte by Meredith Martini

I'M JUST THE BOY WITH THE NEW HAIRCUT
Tony Amonte cut off all his hair. While the flowing mane was his tag, it was starting to get a little silly. Long hair can be tricky. There's a real fine line between cool and hippie lookin' freak. Amonte caught himself just in time. And since he wasn't putting the puck in the net like he was at the beginning of the campaign, a change might do him good.

In a related story, I'm actually starting to let my hair grow out a bit. Although, it has nothing to do with superstitions about scoring goals. But it probably does have something to do with me being a shiftless punk with no ambition.

BLOOD FEUD
It may not be on par with LCS Hockey's rivalry with Bil Keane, the creator of the hilariously funny comic strip "Family Circus," but the Phoenix Coyotes and Anaheim Mighty Ducks seem to have developed a blood feud of their own.

In the Ducks' 5-1 win over the Coyotes on February 14, Anaheim defenseman Ruslan Salei high-sticked Mike Stapleton, cutting the Phoenix center for 27 stitches. There was no penalty called on the play. That's always trouble.

The Coyotes spent the rest of the game trying to get their pound of flesh, causing Anaheim coach Craig Hartsburg to say that the Desert Dogs took themselves out of the game by trying to seek revenge. Jim Schoenfeld was not amused.

"You know what?" said the Phoenix coach. "Then maybe we're not finished getting even... even if it costs us another game." Schoeny later added, "Unlike them, we're in a position where we can waste a few points."

Aw, that's good stuff. Schoeny always makes it fun. The two clubs meet again on March 13.

COOLNESS UPDATE
Here are the ten coolest players in the NHL as of February 22, 1999.

1. Darius Kasparaitis, Pittsburgh Penguins
2. Darcy Tucker, Tampa Bay Lightning
3. Theo Fleury, Calgary Flames
4. Tony Amonte, Chicago Blackhawks
5. John LeClair, Philadelphia Flyers
6. Alexei Kovalev, Pittsburgh Penguins
7. Steve Yzerman, Detroit Red Wings
8. Darren McCarty, Detroit Red Wings
9. Todd Bertuzzi, Vancouver Canucks
10. Gary Roberts, Carolina Hurricanes

While we're at it, here are the five least coolest players.

1. Chris Osgood, Detroit Red Wings
2. Garth Snow, Vancouver Canucks
3. Jamie Macoun, Detroit Red Wings
4. Rich Pilon, New York Islanders
5. Slava Kozlov, Detroit Red Wings

It's feast or famine with the Wings. Their dressing room must look like one of those old McDLT containers. Keeps the cool side cool and the lame side lame.

[ issues | nhl archive | home | nhl history | about us | search | comments ]