It's been a long time since we ran a reader mail column. So, like, here's one. Now leave me alone. Oh yeah, letters may be edited for content in cases when the writer rambles incoherently or says something really stupid.

TUGNUTT TIRADE
Last October, I read your article on 'Thanks Expansion' (October 14) and agreed with you in large part but could not believe my eyes when I caught Ron Tugnutt in your list of the unwashed. Surely it was a typo. Surely the gang at LCS must watch more games than those coming out of Vancouver, Toronto and Philadelphia. I was going to write to ask if Zippy was handing out the cheap drugs over at the LCS bunker but I held back, pulling that old groin injury in the process. Well now I can't help myself.

I'm sure to many of you guys, the Tugger is having a fine season, but to the rest of us who knew he was going to enter his third surprising fine season there is less amazement. Now I understand how misunderstood the Quebec Nordiques fans must have felt when all the world paid attention to the larger market clubs and ignored the jewels they had back home. I for one am tired of watching Toronto and Montreal games in the Ottawa Valley when we have a perfectly good product to watch on TV here at home. But we all know the beer and TV execs know best what is good for the fan. Does LCS?

Gilles Leger
Ottawa

LCS: Dearest Gilles, I myself am a former Quebec Nordiques fan. A real serious fan. Real serious. I love myself some Ronnie Tugnutt. I even painted my first goalie helmet to match the one he wore with the Nords. Hell, I still have the newspaper boxscore of his 70-save performance against the Bruins in the Garden.

Ron Tugnutt by Meredith Martini

Tugnutt deserves all the credit in the world for having a marvelous season. He's actually on pace to break the existing record for lowest goals-against average in a season since the dawn of the modern era in 1942-43, when the center red line was added to the mix. Tony Esposito holds the current standard, posting a 1.77 GAA in 1971-72. Tugnutt currently checks in at 1.57. However, it should be noted that he's only appeared in 30 games, while most number ones are clocked in the mid-40s.

And let's not get delirious with Tuggermania. Let's face it, he works behind a club that plays terrific team defense. Playing goal in Ottawa isn't the toughest gig in show business. He faces an average of 23 shots an outing. That's a light workload. I face more shots than that on any given Wednesday night. Or Friday night. Or Saturday night. Or, well, you get the idea.

And while Tugnutt is cool, let's not allow one remarkable showing to wash away an entire 10-year career. Before this season he had only recorded a save percentage above .900 once, and that was in 1997-98 when he checked in with a very pedestrian .905. Last season was also the first time he ever posted a goals-against below 2.80.

Remember, Tugnutt was out of the league completely in 1995-96, playing for Portland of the AHL. Had it not been for expansion, and the ongoing struggle of 26 clubs trying to find two competent goaltenders, Ronnie never would have been given a second chance.

Tugnutt's a great guy and one of my personal favorites, but he's not an elite goaltender. When ranking the 27 starting netminders in this league, Tugger would probably come in somewhere between 20 and 27. As great a year as he's having, teams aren't going to fear him in the playoffs. He's small, kind of slow, and awkward.

But he's still cool.

NOT A FLEURY FAN
(EDITOR'S NOTE: This letter is regarding Theo Fleury being named as one of the top five coolest players in the NHL.)

Theo Fleury by Meredith Martini

Wow, you've got to kidding. Theo Fleury? There is no doubt that this guy has guts and can put the puck in net, but his tremendous diving is sickening. He should change his name to Thespian Fleury and move to Hollywood. Don Cherry must be turning over in his grave... oh, is he still alive?

Steve Weaver
Parts Unknown

LCS: Steve, sorry, but Theo Fleury is the man. I, myself, have never known him to dive. But even if he did, who could blame him? If I was playing in Calgary I'd be diving too... off the nearest bridge. Aw, I like to kid the folks in Calgary. I tease in fun.

SINGAPORE CALLING
Hi, I'm a Canadian expat living in Singapore and a big fan of your web page. I also happen to be in charge of ice and street hockey out here. I've been reading LCS pretty much since I first came out here in 1995 and you were even the first link we added to our web site when our team finally put one up in 1997. We felt your pain during those tough times when you were looking for your Mr. Drummond and even attempted to have a charity event to raise money for LCS. Unfortunately we only managed to come up with 10,000 Indonesian Rupiah and that wasn't enough for postage to mail it to you so we thought screw it, they're just a bunch of bums anyway.

So getting to the point, I read your article about your Happy Birthday Baby Jesus tournament and I thought "Hey wouldn't it be fun to beat those LCS punks in a street hockey game." And since the answer was yes, I'm wondering if you'd like to come out to Asia to play in the annual Mekong Cup tournament. The Mekong Cup is the largest street hockey tournament in South East Asia. By street hockey I mean with running shoes, not in-line skates.

This will be the 5th year and should hopefully feature teams (of mainly expats) from Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Vietnam, Bangkok, Hong Kong and an alumni team from North America. It's held in Phuket, Thailand where we play on an old tennis court at a very nice beach front resort. Dates have yet to be confirmed but it is usually in early June. It is also somewhat of a charity event with money going to Father Joe, which is an organization that helps out delinquents (much like yourself but younger) in Bangkok.

The hockey is really good but the tournament is as much about fun as anything and Thailand is something to be experienced if you've never been there. You know what they say about one night in Bangkok...

Cheers,

Alan Roessel
Singapore

LCS: Alan, thank you very much for the kind words about LCS and the invitation to Singapore. As much as I'd like to learn the folks of Asia old school on the finer points of street hockey, sadly, I'm afraid I'll be unable to attend. Aside from the usual parole violations and whatnot, the fact that my bank account is home to exactly $13.64 pretty much excludes leaving the house, let alone the country.

If you, our valued readers, would like to learn more about Alan and the fine folks in Singapore, check out their web page at...
http://www.angelfire.com/ok/sporehockey

JERICOHOLIC
Is Chris Jericho really your Official Wrestler? Because he's pretty damn cool.

Steve Wilson
Greensburg

LCS: Yes, Chris Jericho is our Official Wrestler. No joke. And, yes, he is pretty damn cool. If you haven't seen him around much lately that's because he's currently in a contract situation that could see him switching employers in the near future. We hope to have updates as events transpire.

TRADE TALK
Do you think that Fleury and\or Chelios will be traded before the deadline? I heard that Fleury is headed to Philadelphia... is this possible? And what about Chelios?

Chris Chelios by Meredith Martini

Thanks a lot,

Enrico Bonifazio
Italy

LCS: Enrico, I'm not privy to any special information, I'm like really out of the loop. I probably wouldn't even recognize the loop if I saw it. But I would say you can count on Fleury being traded before the deadline.

Philly is doubtful. I just don't think Bobby Clarke is good enough to pull off the trade. The big frontrunner at the moment seems to be the New York Rangers, with San Jose and Buffalo still possibilities. The real dark horse, though, appears to be Dallas. But the Flames would rather trade him East for obvious reasons.

The big hitch is that Theo, who will be an unrestricted free agent this summer, has stated for the record that if he gets traded he will not automatically re-sign with his new club. He is intent on testing the free-agent market. This pretty much cripples any bargaining leverage for Calgary. The Flames will just have to take what they can or lose him for nothing come July.

As for Chelios, I can't really see him being traded. He is Chicago. That would be a public relations nightmare. He should retire a Blackhawk. Although, he is plenty old and that team isn't going anywhere, so it's not completely out of the question. But I doubt it.

Doug Gilmour is the guy that should get the boot. But his ridiculously large contract makes him almost untradeable. Six million dollars for a small, goal-scoring impaired, second-line center? God bless capitalism.

And while Chicago is trimming the dead wood, cut Alexei Zhamnov loose. The Blackhawks simply aren't a team that can be built around a Russian center. The day he was traded for Jeremy Roenick is the day the Blackhawk organization lost its identity.

I'M SORRY
Don't ever call me again.

(Name withheld upon request)

LCS: I won't.

WHAT HAPPENED?
What the hell happened to your web site? Where's the Web Extra? And are you ever going to update the stat section?

Tom Hill
New Brunswick

LCS: Tom, I think I see the problem. See, what you wanted to do was send this letter to someone who gives a rat's ass.

But since you did ask, yes, the web site has been scaled down this season. We're just doing issues, and only issues. The reason is quite simple. We're all just starting to go our separate ways. Zippy is a serious mover and shaker in the world of technology, Jim is a big-time sports reporter on the local scene, Matthew is busy doing all his Matthew stuff, and I spend the time between issues working at becoming a real writer while I patiently await my burgeoning career in fraud/bunko to take hold.

Yet despite all our different interests, we still try to rally the troops once every two weeks to produce our usual mediocre publication. Why? Because we care about you, our valued readers.

You are, without doubt, the twelve most important people in our lives. And that comes from right here. I know you couldn't see, but I was tapping my chest in an effort to symbolize that the sentiment came straight from my heart. So when I said "And that comes from right here," I meant my heart. Seriously. From the heart.

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