LCS Hockey - History Caught: Laus Scored!

History Caught: Laus Scored!
by Michael Dell, Editor-in-Chief

"I'm proud of what I've accomplished, but at the same time I'm glad it's over."

Those were the words of Paul Laus upon breaking Roger Maris' record total of zero goals in a season. Maris, who never played in the NHL, established the mark in 1961 while not skating for the New York Rangers. Many around the league assumed that Laus would never be able to reach the milestone, but the rugged Florida Panthers blueliner proved them all wrong on December 28, 1998, in a 5-1 win over the visiting New York Islanders.

The magical moment came at 4:40 of the second period. Panthers winger Oleg Kvasha created the play by driving wide on left wing and throwing a shot to the net. Laus, displaying the instincts of a true goal-scorer, drove the slot and wristed the rebound behind New York netminder Marcel Cousineau to claim his place in history.

The capacity crowd at the National Car Rental Center went crazy go nuts in celebration. The game was momentarily halted as both competing squads poured onto the ice to offer Laus congratulations. It was a wild, wild scene.

Overcome by emotion, Laus then climbed into the stands to hug the Maris family who had been following his quest all season. They shared a few tears and Laus tapped his chest twice and then pointed to the heavens in recognition of their legendary father.

Following the game, an elaborate on-ice ceremony was held to honor Laus' accomplishment. Laus was joined at center ice by his Panther teammates, team owner H. Wayne Huizenga, the Maris family, and representatives from the Hall of Fame. The capacity crowd fell silent as their hero stepped to the microphone.

"I'd just like to thank all my teammates for making this possible. I couldn't have done it without them," said a sincere Laus. "And I'd like to thank you, the fans. Without you this really wouldn't mean a thing."

The goal was Laus' first since April 6, 1996. The drought lasted 188 games. Yet shortly before the fateful meeting with the Islanders, Laus had a hunch that his luck was about to change.

"I knew tonight would be the night," explained Laus. "Before the game the Maris family showed me the stick their father didn't use when he never played back in '61. Holding it, I just got the feeling that it was going to happen. It's a great feeling to know that my stick will now rest beside his in the Hall of Fame."

Once Laus was finished speaking, Mr. Huizenga stepped forward to make a special presentation. The Panther owner congratulated Laus on his miraculous achievement and then directed everyone's attention to the Zamboni door. A beautiful vintage Corvette drove onto the ice.

"That's for you, Paul," smiled Huizenga. "You took us all on a marvelous ride."

The car, painted Panther red, featured a license plate bearing a lone numeral one. Laus graciously accepted the luxurious gift and waved from the back seat as he was driven around the rink much to the delight of the raucous crowd. The importance of the night was not lost on the fans in attendance.

"This is something I can tell my grandkids about," said Thomas Feller, a season-ticket holder and retired produce worker now residing in Dade County. Mr. Feller then turned to his grandson Timmy and informed him, "Paul Laus scored!"

While many were surprised by Laus' scoring feat, there was one man that expected it.

"I told you it would happen," said MIT professor Arthur Jessup. As you, our valued readers, may recall, Dr. Jessup predicted in issue 105 of LCS Hockey that this would be the year Laus surpassed Maris.

"I knew it was only a matter of time," elaborated Jessup. "I was a bit surprised that it came against the Islanders, I was figuring on the Lightning or Hurricanes, but I knew it would happen."

Jessup had pegged the Bolts as the most likely victim at odds of 3-1. The Canes were second at 6-1. And in case you're wondering, Jessup had the Isles clocked at a 12-1 shot.

Once the initial excitement passed, Jessup found himself to be somewhat saddened by Laus' electrifying exploit.

"I have to admit, I feel a bit lost," claimed Jessup. "I've dedicated the last nine months of my life to tracking the probability of Laus scoring a goal. Now it's over. I have to move on. But I'm not sure I want to."

Don't feel too bad for Jessup. The good professor had a rather substantial wager riding on Laus scoring this season. If enjoying his recent windfall wasn't enough, Jessup also runs a successful bookmaking operation out of the back of his classroom.

And just between you and me, he's got the New York Jets at +12 this Sunday in Denver. You might want to get a piece of that action. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets! Give Keyshawn the damn ball. Would somebody please give Keyshawn the damn ball!