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LCS Hockey All-Star Squads by Michael Dell, Editor-in-Chief I'm just going to come right out and say it. The league's stupid. The whole North America vs. the World All-Star format is lame. Even worse is the rule of having to select one player from each team. A guy is either an All-Star or he isn't. What team he plays for should be irrelevant. On top of that, it shouldn't mean anything either. When we select our All-Star teams, only one thing matters: the player's performance over the first half of the season. Well, that and how much wine we had the night before, but mostly it's just based on performance. Without further delay, here are our selections for the January 24 All-Star Game in Tampa Bay. And remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. So please, as always, no wagering. (EDITOR'S NOTE: All stats are through Sunday, January 10.) EASTERN CONFERENCE FORWARDS Rod Brind'Amour, Philadelphia Flyers (39-16-25-41): Death, taxes, and Brind'Amour. The guy's just a constant. Eric Lindros and John LeClair get all the attention, but Brind'Amour is the woman behind those powerful men... wait, that doesn't sound good at all. Whatever... Wendel Clark, Tampa Bay Lightning (36-18-10-28): Should Tampa really have an All-Star? Well, it's a tough call, but Clark deserves some recognition for his surprising play for the men with the lightning bolts on their pants. Mr. Wendel leads the club with 18 goals; a half dozen more than he had all of last season in Toronto. He also made his final appearance at Maple Leaf Gardens something to remember, collecting three assists. The best of which came when he pulled the puck between his own legs and then pulled off a spinning setup of Mikael Andersson. It was real wizard. That play alone was worthy of an All-Star slot. Wayne Gretzky, New York Rangers (40-7-33-40): Yee-haw! I'm Wayne Gretzky! Yee-haw! Gretzky has to be an All-Star. It's like a law or somethin'. Bobby Holik, New Jersey Devils (36-18-19-37): Remember when Holik used to center the Crash Line with Mike Peluso and Randy McKay? Aw, that was great, that was fun. But the big Czech has turned his attention from banging heads to scoring goals and leads El Diablo with 18 red lights, including five of the game-winning variety. Holik also skates at a +14. Upper Deck was right on target with that "Young Gun" tag back in 1991. Sure, they may have missed on Ken Hodge Jr... and Garry Valk... and Kip Miller... and Stephane Matteau... never mind. Jaromir Jagr, Pittsburgh Penguins (36-14-36-50): The Czech Wonder Kid can still be the most dominating offensive player on the planet when he feels like it. No doubt, he has taken some nights off this season, but overall Jagr has accepted his role as captain in Pittsburgh like a true champ. While the goal total is down, Jagr is averaging an assist per game. He's making the players around him better. That's always nice to see. Dimitri Khristich, Boston Bruins (38-17-25-42): Boston's top line features two other All-Star candidates in Jason Allison and Sergei Samsonov, but Khristich has simply been better than his higher profile linemates. The Russian winger has been a consistent force from day one and has used his tremendous touch around the cage to lead the Bruins in scoring with 17 goals and 42 points. John LeClair, Philadelphia Flyers (39-23-24-47): Who's better than John LeClair? Oh, you don't know? Well neither do I. LeClair is the man. He's unstoppable.
Eric Lindros, Philadelphia Flyers (37-21-27-48): The Big E Train is rolling right on schedule. There was that slight concussion problem, but Lindros is still the best center in the Eastern Conference. Shawn McEachern, Ottawa Senators (39-20-17-37): He may not be top flight All-Star material, but McEachern is having an excellent campaign for the Senators. He leads Ottawa with 20 goals; just four fewer than he had all of last season. McEachern has always owned blazing speed and a hefty slapper, it's just now he's finally starting to cash in on the numerous chances his talent has always created. Did that sentence make any sense at all? It would probably be best if we just moved on... Keith Primeau, Carolina Hurricanes (41-19-14-33): Primeau is a force. He's developed into the player the Red Wings always knew he'd become. It's too bad more fans in Carolina don't show up to witness his greatness. Miroslav Satan, Buffalo Sabres (36-18-14-32): The Prince of Darkness sneaks onto the team thanks to a recent eight-game goal-scoring streak. While not a breathtaking skater, Satan has exceptional hands and knows how to finish. He also smells of fire and brimstone. So that's pretty cool...
Martin Straka, Pittsburgh Penguins (36-19-22-41): Jagr may get all the hype, but Straka has been Pittsburgh's MVP this season. The little Czech center has been a dynamo for the Penguins, leading the team in goals with 19 while also playing the point on the power play and serving as the club's top penalty killer. Straka's speed is lethal. He's fun to watch. Alexei Yashin, Ottawa Senators (39-17-31-48): It's official. Yashin is a superstar. The big Russian center has carried the Senators on his broad shoulders this season, pacing the team with 48 points while playing at a +20. He also makes quite the fashion statement with his swank turtlenecks. DEFENSE Ray Bourque, Boston Bruins (38-4-21-25): Even at his advanced age, Bourque is still the heart and soul of the Bruins. And his numbers of four goals and 25 points aren't that bad considering the lack of scoring among defensemen league wide. Eric Desjardins, Philadelphia Flyers (35-6-18-24): One of the most consistently underrated players in the game, Desjardins is the linchpin of the Flyer blue line. Not only has he been his usual steady self in the defensive zone, Desjardins has also picked up his scoring, having already notched as many goals (6) as he had all of last season. Kevin Hatcher, Pittsburgh Penguins (36-6-18-24): Of course, Pittsburgh's best defenseman is Darius Kasparaitis, who also just happens to be the coolest player... IN THE WORLD! But it's tough to argue with Hatcher's numbers. Hatcher the Elder has 24 points and is clicking at an impressive +12. Brian Leetch, New York Rangers (40-6-20-26): Despite the 26 points, Leetch isn't having an overwhelming season by any means. Luckily, neither are any other Eastern Conference defenders. Leetch gets in on name recognition. Scott Niedermayer, New Jersey Devils (28-3-15-18): Niedermayer isn't exactly tearing it up for the Devils, but he has shown the ability to impact games with his speed and puck movement. More scoring is still needed. Scott Stevens, New Jersey Devils (36-3-13-16): Stevens is the rock on which the Devils are built. He leads New Jersey with a +17 rating.
Jason Woolley, Buffalo Sabres (37-3-18-21): With Alexei Zhitnik not quite playing up to potential, Woolley was able to sneak in the back door. A strictly one-way threat in the past, Woolley has tightened things up on defense and boasts a +13 to go along with his three goals and 21 points. Jason York, Ottawa Senators (36-4-16-20): Someone had to represent Ottawa's steady group of no-name blueliners. York got chosen for his 20 points and +11 mark. GOALTENDERS Martin Brodeur, New Jersey Devils (18-9-5, 2.44, .901, two shutouts): Statistically, Brodeur is having an average season. But the catch is that he's still Martin Brodeur. That's enough for us. Dominik Hasek, Buffalo Sabres (20-7-6, 1.92, .937, seven shutouts): We heard this Hasek character is pretty good so we figured we'd let him play. After all, it's for charity! Oh wait, that's the Happy Birthday Baby Jesus Tournament... Ron Tugnutt, Ottawa Senators (11-5-3, 1.73, .931, one shutout): Sometimes you feel like a Tugnutt, sometimes you don't. Ottawa Senators have Tugnutt, Mounds don't. Because... sometimes you feel like a Tugnutt, and sometimes you don't. Everyone feels like a Tugnutt this season in Ottawa. The scrappy little netminder is leading the league with a 1.73 goals-against and is among the leaders with an incredible .931 save percentage. I still remember the time Tugnutt led all Quebec Nordique goaltenders in wins with five. Ah, memories... faded water color memories, of the way we were. I need a moment...
FORWARDS
Tony Amonte, Chicago Blackhawks (41-23-13-36): With all due respect to the great Chris Chelios, Amonte is the only reason to watch a Chicago game. He's a phenomenal player. He works the defensive zone like a demon, he hits, he scores goals, he sticks up for his teammates, and oh yeah, he can skate really, really fast. It's gotta be the hair. Amonte is simply one of the coolest players in the NHL. Pavol Demitra, St. Louis Blues (37-20-22-42): Some people aren't sure yet if Demitra is the real thing or not. If you're one of the uncommitted, take it from me... Demitra ain't no joke. He can play. He does have sort of a fashion risk haircut, but he can play. Demitra sees the entire ice, has an explosive first step, and can bring the pain with his shot. He didn't get those 20 goals and 42 points by accident. And he didn't slow down when Pierre Turgeon left the lineup, either. Demitra is the whole f'n show in St. Louis. Theo Fleury, Calgary Flames (41-19-23-42): Speaking of being the whole f'n show, Fleury is the only reason there's still a team in Calgary. Without the little red menace, the Flames would have burned out many moons ago. Where's Dr. Kevorkian when you need him? Peter Forsberg, Colorado Avalanche (40-11-36-47): Forsberg is the most complete player in the NHL. He got off to a brutal start this season, but still ranks near the top of the scoring race with 47 points. Paul Kariya, Anaheim Mighty Ducks (40-17-38-55): The little duckling leads the NHL in scoring with 55 points. But how about making just one funny commercial for ESPN? C'mon, dude... just one. So far you're like 0-for-12. Who's reading your scripts? Just one funny commercial is all I'm asking. Just one. Mike Modano, Dallas Stars (38-13-26-39): Mikey Mo is having kind of an average year by his standards. But the last time I checked the Stars have only lost seven games, so that's gotta count for somethin'. Luc Robitaille, Los Angeles Kings (40-22-18-40): I remember in the first issue of the season I wrote something about upcoming milestones for players. Robitaille was 22 goals away from 500. I almost didn't even list him, fearing that there would be no chance in hell of him getting 22 goals this season. Here it is, the beginning of January, and Lucky Luc has already bagged number 500. He's having an amazing year. Jeremy Roenick, Phoenix Coyotes (34-15-24-39): JR Superstar is back. After years of mediocre play, Roenick appears to have remembered how to score. Way to go! Now if only he can quit referring to himself in the third person. Joe Sakic, Colorado Avalanche (32-15-24-39): His startling acceleration and supersonic wrist shot make Sakic one of the game's most dynamic players. He was a one-man crew early on for the Avalanche when Forsberg and Patrick Roy were still trying to find their games. Sakic also leads the league with five short-handed goals. Teemu Selanne, Anaheim Mighty Ducks (32-21-24-45): Teemu had a rough time of it there for a while, but he's back in his groove. The Finnish Flash is once again scoring like a chimp, potting 21 goals in just 32 games.
Mats Sundin, Toronto Maple Leafs (40-13-29-42): The Leafs are without doubt the surprise team of the NHL. Sundin gives them the big-game star in the middle that's needed to be a playoff contender. Keith Tkachuk, Phoenix Coyotes (27-17-14-31): Tkachuk is, like, good and stuff... Steve Yzerman, Detroit Red Wings (40-18-26-44): Stevie Y just won't slow down. He keeps getting better with each passing year. His numbers are way up from the 24 goals and 65 points he recorded last season. DEFENSE Rob Blake, Los Angeles Kings (22-3-12-15): It's very simple. When Blake is healthy, the Kings are a legitimate threat out West. When Blake isn't in the lineup, the Kings are two points for the opposition. Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit Red Wings (40-6-20-26): Lidstrom is having kind of an ordinary season. It's not that he hasn't been good, it's just he's never quite reached the dizzying heights he did last year. But it's all really a moot point since he's so much better than most everyone else. Al MacInnis, St. Louis Blues (37-11-14-25): The Big Daddy Mac's 11 goals ties him for the lead among defensemen. Boris Mironov, Edmonton Oilers (37-5-21-26): Boris has cooled off a bit lately after starting hotter than the watch I bought my dad for Christmas. His 26 points puts him among the defensive leaders, but his best stat may be his +14 rating. That's a might powerful number for someone in Edmonton. Larry Murphy, Detroit Red Wings (40-7-24-31): Stationary Larry just keeps on truckin'. He's actually outplayed Lidstrom on most nights. Teppo Numminen, Phoenix Coyotes (36-7-16-23): Now that the Coyotes are winning, people are finally starting to give Teppo the recognition he so richly deserves. Well, we've been with Teppo since the beginning. If you want to jump on the ol' bandwagon that's fine. But just remember, we're driving. Chris Pronger, St. Louis Blues (33-7-17-24): He's the best defenseman in hockey. End of discussion. Darryl Sydor, Dallas Stars (38-10-22-32): Sydor's scoring totals were enough for him to bump teammate Derian Hatcher from the squad. It's pretty tough to ignore 32 points in 38 games from a defenseman. GOALTENDERS Ed Belfour, Dallas Stars (19-6-4, 1.91, .915, three shutouts): Belfour is just now starting to find his stride. Look for even better numbers from here on out, if that's possible.
Curtis Joseph, Edmonton Oilers (18-12-2, 2.65, .906, one shutout): His stats won't win any awards, but Joseph is the reason why Toronto is a player in the East. His acrobatic goaltending has given the young Leaf club a major confidence boost. Nikolai Khabibulin, Phoenix Coyotes (15-7-3, 1.96, .927, three shutouts): Khabby's been something special for the Desert Dogs. He's entertaining to say the least. And if I'm not mistaken, I believe that's what I just did... (EDITOR'S NOTE: You may have noticed that Mats Sundin and Curtis Joseph were listed in the Western Conference, despite actually playing in the East. There's a simple reason for this... too much medication. Just move 'em around anyway you want. These are still our All-Stars.)
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