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LCS Hockey

  More Stuff
by Michael Dell, Editor-in-Chief

CULLEN UPDATE
Johnny Cullen, LCS Hockey hero and the idol of millions from eight to eighty, is still skating for the Cleveland Lumberjacks of the IHL. At last check, Cullen has two goals and nine points in six games. It should be mentioned that seven of those points came in one game, but that's really neither here nor there.

COLORADO COMING BACK
Last issue in the ol' More Stuff column it was mentioned how Washington has been devastated by injuries this season. Well, Colorado isn't too far behind.

In an unbelievable rash of bad luck, the Avalanche blue line has been rendered unrecognizable thanks to injuries to Adam Foote, Alexei Gusarov, Sylvain Lefebvre, Jon Klemm, Eric Messier, and Wade Belak. For complete details on the situation, check out Greg D'avis' feature article elsewhere in the issue.

Yet despite all the grief on defense, Colorado has rallied to an 8-9-2 record. That may not sound like much, but take away the 0- 4-0 start and the Avalanche are 8-5-2 in their past 15 games. Considering the injuries, that's really quite remarkable. They're currently only three points behind Edmonton for the division lead.

The two main reasons for the turnaround are that Patrick Roy is once again stopping pucks and Peter Forsberg has started scoring goals. But don't overlook what GM Pierre Lacroix has done to turn the tide.

Lacroix acquired Greg de Vries and Cam Russell in separate deals to help bolster the decimated defensive corps. Both were huge moves. Then he swiped Shjon Podein away from the Flyers for the painfully slow Keith Jones. Sure, Jones has fit in well with Eric Lindros and John LeClair in Philly, but he was dead weight in Denver. Podein is the type of hard-working, third-line winger with speed the club so desperately needed. Add him to Stephane Yelle and Rene Corbet, and the Avalanche could very well have the best third line in hockey. Hell, the top two lines are pretty damn swell in their own rights, with Forsberg between Claude Lemieux and Valeri Kamensky, and Joe Sakic centering Adam Deadmarsh and rookie ace Milan Hejduk.

Lacroix has also addressed the matter of team chemistry. The first step was to trade his own flesh and blood, sending his son Eric to Los Angeles for Roman Vopat, who eventually was shipped to Chicago for Russell. Lacroix the Elder followed that up by signing Adam Foote to a contract extension. Foote, who was set to become a restricted free agent at the end of this season, was so frustrated with negotiations that he publicly said he would not be back in Colorado next season. That's never good for team morale. Thankfully, both parties came to their sense and Foote will remain the cornerstone of the blue line.

Now all Lacroix has to do is sign Sandis Ozolinsh. That's easier said than done. Lacroix reduced his offer in length, pitching a two-year $6.6 million deal to Ozolinsh's agent hoping to pique interest with the promise of another pay day not so far off in the future. Ozolinsh's agent, whose name is like Thelonious Monk or something, declined.

Monk and his client are sticking to their demands of something closer to $4 million a season. Lacroix says his offer includes incentives that could drive the annual salary up to the $4- million neighborhood, but Monk says there are no such incentives. He's even gone so far as to ask for a trade.

Lacroix would be foolish to trade Ozolinsh. There just isn't another player on the planet that can bring what he does to a team. He's the best offensive defenseman in hockey. Period. Without him at the point, the Avalanche have no shot at a Cup. However, if he can get signed, and the rest of the defense mends, the men with feet on their shoulders will be right back in the heat of things along with Dallas and Detroit.

DOES PITTSBURGH NEED TOUGHNESS?
The debate in Pittsburgh is whether or not the team can continue to survive without a few more proven fighters. The only slugger on the roster is defensemen Chris Tamer, and his ice time has been reduced dramatically this season. It's tough for him to protect people when he's never on the ice.

While the club really hasn't had a feared puncher since the days of Rick Tocchet, the subject has become a hot topic recently with the team getting smacked around a bit.

On November 14, with the Penguins leading the Panthers 4-0 late in the third, Florida's Peter Worrell took a run at Aleksey Morozov and knocked him silly with an elbow. Worrell would later receive a three-game suspension from the league. Morozov suffered a concussion and still hasn't returned to action.

Defenseman Jeff Serowik wanted to step in and challenge Worrell but quickly changed his mind when the 6'6" behemoth wanted to drop the gloves. With Serowik in trouble, veteran blueliner Bobby Dollas saved the day, stepping in to fight Worrell. The scuffle had predictable results, but it was Dollas' attempt that counts.

Another Penguin was lost to a cheap shot in the very next game against Philadelphia. Late in the third, with the outcome decided, Roman Vopat crushed Victor Ignatjev from behind into the boards, injuring the blueliner's shoulder.

Then the home-and-home series with Tampa Bay saw the likes of Wendel Clark, Cory Cross, Sandy McCarthy, Darcy Tucker, and Enrico Ciccone run roughshod over the Birds with little apprehension. Dollas actually had to fight Ciccone, eating an uppercut that split his lip, in order to once again protect his teammates. Afterwards Dollas could do little more than say, "I'm to old for this crap." The problem may have been highlighted even more when Tom Barrasso injured his back in a scuffle with Tucker. When your goaltender is getting hurt in fights, it might be time to make a move.

The Penguins like to say that they have team toughness and that as long as everyone sticks together they'll be fine. But Dollas can't keep fighting 6'6" guys every night. At this rate he'll be dead by Christmas.

The Penguins still have Petr Nedved up their sleeve. It would make sense that they'd try to get some muscle back in return, but then again the team seems confident that it can survive without it. In a perfect world where everybody respects one another and plays by the rules, the Birds might be able to rely solely on their speed and quickness. Unfortunately, the NHL is not a nice place. Teams know that the Penguins are soft. And you can bet it will be a weakness that gets exploited.

Word on the street is that Edmonton's Bill Huard may soon be wearing the black and gold. Huard can throw. He'd be a good addition.

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
Matt Johnson's gutless sucker punch that KO'd Jeff Beukeboom cost him more than just 12 games. Since the Los Angeles thug was labeled a "repeat offender," he will be forced to forfeit his salary for those games under the terms of the current Collective Bargaining Agreement.

Johnson, who makes $650,000 a year, will lose $95,121.96 due to his stupidity. While the money should probably go to Beukeboom, it actually goes into the NHL's Emergency Assistance Fund which is set up to throw real bitchin' parties on weekends at Bettman's house. Ninety-five grand will buy a lot of Jagermeister.

The 12-game sentence and subsequent fine are a fitting punishment for Johnson's cowardly actions. However, it just further illustrates how light the penalty was for Tie Domi when he suckered Ulf Samuelsson a few years back. Johnson got 12 for hitting Beukeboom in the side of the face with his glove. Domi, who came up from behind and punched an unsuspecting Samuelsson in the nose and mouth with his bare fist, was given only eight games. The premeditated attack was the most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed during an NHL game. Domi should still be in prison.

LET HIM PLAY
The Tampa Bay Lightning have said they want to bring Vincent Lecavalier along slowly, but this is ridiculous. Any slower and he'd be going backwards.

In 19 games, Lecavalier has one goal and four points and is a -12. But it's not his fault. The top pick at this past Entry Draft has been seeing an average of 12 minutes a game for the Bolts, often with fourth-line talent. And he hasn't even played as many as 12 minutes in any of the past four games. In fact, he only saw 9:48 of ice time in the 5-2 loss to Pittsburgh on November 21. Although, he was allowed to serve a major penalty to Pavel Kubina late in the contest. I think we all realize how important it is for franchise players to learn how to serve major penalties. Keeping oneself busy for five minutes is a skill that needs to be honed to a razor's edge.

As soon as Lecavalier makes a mistake he finds himself on the bench. Jacques Demers apparently believes that this is helping the youngster become a better player, but it's hard to imagine how. The only way to improve is to play. Young kids are going to make mistakes. It happens. But they have to play through 'em. A mistake is nothing to be ashamed off as long as you learn from it. That's difficult to do when you're a spectator.

So far all Lecavalier is learning is that if he slips up he sits on the bench. Jacques, the goal is to build a hockey player, not train a dog. And why not play the kid? Where the hell are the Lightning going this year that they can't afford to let Lecavalier learn on the job? Fans are showing up to watch him dazzle with his skating and puck skills, not to see how straight his posture is. Let him play.

CHICAGO-MONTREAL TRADE
Are you wondering who won the Chicago-Montreal trade that saw the Blackhawks land Jocelyn Thibault, Dave Manson, and Brad Brown in exchange for Jeff Hackett, Eric Weinrich, and Alain Nasreddine? Well don't. Chicago won. I'd explain myself further, but this is the type of thing you either see right away or never at all... sort of like "Smokey and the Bandit III."

TIME FOR BURE TO MOVE
Alexander Mogilny's knee injury could mean that Pavel Bure will be back in the NHL sooner than expected. With Mogilny slated to miss between four and six weeks, and with Todd Bertuzzi still on the shelf with a broken leg, the time is now for the Canucks to make a deal. GM Brian Burke has said he won't let the injuries force him into a bad trade, but Burke's not real bright to begin with, so who really cares? The Canucks need the situation to be resolved. And the league needs Bure on the ice.

The leading candidate for the Russian Rocket would seem to be the Philadelphia Flyers. Chris Gratton and Dainius Zubrus could be headed the other way. How good would Bure look alongside Lindros and LeClair? That's sick.

BROADWAY CLOSED
LCS favorite "Broadway" Bernie Nicholls has been forced into retirement by San Jose GM Dean Lombardi. Aw, that's just wrong.

Nicholls, 37, had two assists and was a -4 in 10 games this season for the Sharks. Hey, you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette. Bernie was just getting warmed up.

Lombardi met with Nicholls over the weekend and basically told him he sucked and that he was done playing for the Sharks. Naturally, Bernie was stunned by the mandate. Lombardi did offer Nicholls a job with the organization, but he didn't specify what the job would be. He will reportedly work out the details over the Thanksgiving holiday, at which time Nicholls will make a decision about his future.

Let me just say that LCS Hockey would love to have Nicholls on our team. So, Bernie, if you're out there, just say the word and you can be one of the few, the proud, the LCS Hockey correspondents. The pay is lousy and the hours are long, but other than that it's a piece of cake. Or, if you prefer pie, a piece of pie. Just say when.

NEELY KNOWS
Nicholls isn't the only LCS hero coming to grips with retirement. Cam Neely has finally reached the conclusion that he can no longer play in the NHL. The former 50-goal man attempted a comeback with the Boston Bruins but was only four practices into his 10-day tryout before pain in his hip wrested the decision from his hands.

At a press conference on November 17, Neely spoke about his failed return to glory.

"I'm completely fine with the fact that I can't play. I'm fortunate that I had the opportunity, that the Bruins gave me an opportunity. I know it wasn't the easiest of circumstances with the team, the coaching staff to let a guy that hasn't played for a couple of years interrupt things to see if I could play."

"It was an opportunity that I was given that I didn't think I was going to get and it was fun for the days that I was out there," continued Neely. "But as each day I skated I felt the pain lingered longer than I would have liked. As I said yesterday, I know how I felt when I had to retire, pain wise, I know how I'm feeling now and I know how I was starting to feel as I progressed. And that's not really how I want to feel."

When asked if he felt relieved that it was over, Cam agreed.

"I think relief is a good word, to be honest with you. I tried to do this as quietly as possible. I started working out quite a while ago to get into better shape and to see if I could take it to getting on the ice again. It was something that I really didn't mean for it to get as carried away as it did. Although I was optimistic that I could take it to another level, I never really was sure how long I could keep pushing it. Because I know how I felt every day. When you don't have any relief at all from the pain, you have to wonder if you can really play again. I did have the opportunity to push it a little harder but it just never got as good as I would have hoped to keep pushing it."

LCS Hockey would like to wish Neely nothing but the best. And, Cam, that writing offer is open to you too, buddy. Maybe you and Bernie could work on a column together, like a Point/Counterpoint deal. He could say something and then you could call him an ignorant slut. It's fun. Honest.

WACKY STATS
The NHL is finally starting to go public with some of those wacky stats of theirs. It's hard to believe that all these categories could be clocked accurately, but here's a list of some of the league leaders in a few obscure statistical categories through November 24.

FACEOFF WINS
1. Steve Rucchin, Anaheim       309 (54.49%)
2. Doug Gilmour, Chicago        289 (55.57%)
3. Mark Messier, Vancouver      272 (52.10%)
4. Mats Sundin, Toronto         269 (55.92%)
5. Yanic Perreault, Los Angeles 246 (54.91%)

ICE TIME (in minutes)
1. Chris Pronger, St. Louis     31.11
2. Brian Leetch, NY Rangers     30.76
3. Ray Bourque, Boston          30.30
4. Al MacInnis, St. Louis       28.91
5. Boris Mironov, Edmonton      27.06

NOTE: Joe Sakic plays the most of any forward, ranking 
15th overall at 25.25 minutes per game.

HITS
1. Todd Harvey, NY Rangers      59
2. Richard Matvichuk, Dallas    55
3. Curtis Leschyshyn, Carolina  54
4. Derian Hatcher, Dallas       53
   David Harlock, NY Islanders  53
   Dan McGillis, Philadelphia   53

NOTE: In case you're wondering, Darius Kasparaitis has 
30 hits in just nine games.

GIVEAWAYS
1. Wayne Gretzky, NY Rangers    48
2. Vladimir Malakhov, Montreal  47
3. Peter Forsberg, Colorado     45
4. Joe Sakic, Colorado          44
5. Vincent Damphousse, Montreal 42

TAKEAWAYS
1. Peter Forsberg, Colorado     59
2. Brian Rolston, New Jersey    36
3. Mattias Ohlund, Vancouver    34
4. Steve Rucchin, Anaheim       33
   Matt Cullen, Anaheim         33      

THANKSGIVING
Normally at this time of year we usually run some sort of Thanksgiving feature where we list all the things we're thankful for. But to be honest, I just don't care anymore. I mean, it's the same thing every year... we're thankful for the kindness of the parole board, that the public drunkenness laws have been relaxed, that Prozac dissolves in gin, blah blah blah. I'm just not up to it. I got nothin'.

So let me just wish a Happy Thanksgiving to you, our valued readers. And to our friends outside of the United States, Happy Thursday!

LCS Hockey

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