LCS Hockey - Ties Are Gay

Ties Are Gay
by Michael Dell, Editor-in-Chief

Not everything about the NHL is stupid. Some things are gay. Ties are gay.

Don't believe the hype, there's no such thing as a good tie. You want to know who likes ties? Losers, that's who. It makes them all giddy because they feel oh so close to winning. Well, guess what? You're still a loser.

Winners hate ties. A tie burns the same as a loss to a winner. What's the point of competition if not to crown a victor? There should always be one winner and one loser. That's just the way life is. Except in the NHL.

Through November 9, the league has seen 29 ties in 166 total games. That means 17.5% of league contests are ending without a winner being declared. That's silly. There's nothing worse than 65 minutes of meaningless hockey. No one buys a ticket in hopes of witnessing a tie. Fans deserve to see a winner... especially at these prices.

As per usual, expansion is one of the factors involved. Talent is spread so thin that teams no longer play to win games, they play to survive them. Over the past few years a greater emphasis has been placed on avoiding mistakes rather than trying to make great plays. Clubs are content to simply chip the puck out of the zone and wait for the opposition to falter. If no one errs, no one wins.

Lack of talent aside, the main reason for the abundance of stalemates is that the five-minute overtime period is a joke. In today's NHL, where nearly every team thinks defense first, killing five minutes of clock is almost a given.

There have only been two games decided in overtime this season. The first was on October 16. Luc Robitaille hammered a slap shot past Byron Dafoe at 2:47 of the extra session to give the Kings a 2-1 win over the Bruins. The second came on November 8 when Edmonton's Josef Beranek connected on the power play against Mark Fitzpatrick and the Hawks with just 34 seconds gone to seal a 3-2 triumph.

Producing just two winners in 31 chances, it's obvious that the current overtime system serves no real purpose. A change must be made.

Most anti-tie protestors are calling for a shootout to decide a winner after 60 failed minutes of play. The IHL already employs such a format, giving clue number one that it must be a stupid idea. Shootouts are an exciting gimmick for carnivals and traveling side shows, but they shouldn't decide a hockey game. Hockey is a team sport that should be won as a team. Reducing it to an individual one-on-one battle completely removed from the normal conditions of a game is simply not acceptable. End of story.

The obvious solution to the problem is to play a longer overtime. Five minutes was originally decided upon because the league didn't want to have games run too long and interfere with travel plans. To me that would seem like the perfect reason to extend the overtime. I say they should play until someone scores, just like the playoffs, no matter how long it takes.

If a coach knows his team has a plane to catch he'll be more likely to turn the dogs loose and play some old fashioned firewagon hockey. Teams certainly wouldn't be able to employ the usual patient, defensive style and wait for a mistake. If they did, they could be waiting for an awfully long time.

Think of the added attention the league would get when two clubs wage a three or four overtime marathon. The game would be considered an instant classic.

And imagine the offensive boon that would be created. At least 29 more goals would have been scored so far this season. Each one a potential lasting memory.

The travel situation is the only drawback to the proposal. But the last time I checked teams always have at least 24 hours between games. Would it be so terrible if some flights had to be changed at the last minute? Sure, it might be kind of hard to find seats for 30 people on a replacement flight, but didn't you ever see "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles?" There's always a way to get where you're going. But I guess we wouldn't want to inconvenience the millionaires... whatever.

Ties are ignorant. The NHL owes it to its fans to ensure a winner every night. If the league really cared about you, the loyal patron, it would make the change. Because right now it's clear that the league hates you. Hey, I heard things.