LCS Hockey - Early Season Nuttiness

Early Season Nuttiness
by Michael Dell, editor-in-chief

Hey, don't look now, but the NHL is actually kind of fun again. Sure, all you have to do to find a minor-leaguer is throw a rock, but the lack of talent hasn't been able to completely overshadow a noticeable increase in excitement over the opening weekend of the 1998-99 season.

Whatever the reason, whether it's the two extra feet behind the net, the smaller neutral zone, or a continued crackdown on interference, the initial contests of the new campaign have been entertaining. I realize that sounds strange, considering recent years, but it's true. The NHL is entertaining. Who would have thought it was possible?

Games have been action packed. There has definitely been room to skate. One would think that would be good news for guys like Paul Kariya and Teemu Selanne, but Anaheim is one of the teams that have struggled out of the gate. The Ducks have only scored one goal in their first three games. Needless to say, they've lost all three decisions. Even though it looks bleak, it's only a matter of time before Kariya and Selanne explode. The Ducks have actually played pretty good defense, allowing just six goals in the three losses. Once the big guns start firing, the wins will follow.

The New York Rangers have matched Anaheim's futility, dropping their first three games by a combined score of 12-3. But unlike the Ducks, there are few encouraging signs for the Blueshirts. Wayne Gretzky and crew appear dead in the water. This club's in trouble. Neil Smith might be forced into going after free agents Doug Weight, Petr Nedved, or Ziggy Palffy in an attempt to spark the lethargic offense.

Surprisingly, the Colorado Avalanche are also searching for their first win of the season. Colorado lost 4-3 to Ottawa on opening night and was then shut out 3-0 by Dominik Hasek and the Sabres. Both losses came on home ice. That's no way to welcome new head coach Bob Hartley. One of Chicago's leading psychologists, Bob gave up a successful practice to follow his dream of coaching in the NHL. He deserves better.

Four of the five major free agent signings of the summer, John Vanbiesbrouck, Curtis Joseph, Doug Gilmour, and Brett Hull, have all gotten off to quick starts. Vanbiesbrouck has backstopped Philadelphia to a 2-0-0 mark, earning a 1-0 shutout over the Rangers in his Flyer debut. The Beezer looks like a good fit in Philly.

Joseph has also lived up to advanced billing, leading the Maple Leafs to a 2-0-0 record with wins over Detroit and Edmonton. Joseph has been spectacular, earning every penny of his $6- million contract. But while CuJo shines, Felix Potvin stews. The Leafs are still waiting for the right deal, preferably one involving a proven second-line center, to come along before parting with the Cat.

Gilmour has brought some much needed intensity to the Chicago offense. His scrappy nature should serve the team well. He certainly got his Blackhawk career off on the right foot, setting up Tony Amonte for the game-winner in Chicago's season-opening victory over New Jersey.

Hull has yet to find the net himself, but he has assisted on a pair of goals by Mike Modano to help the Stars to a 2-0-0 start. The newly forged line of Modano, Hull, and Jere Lehtinen could very well be the best in hockey.

Ron Francis, the one remaining marquee free-agent prize, has played well for Carolina despite the Hurricanes scuffling early. The Canes blew a 4-1 third-period lead to Tampa Bay on opening night and had to settle for a 4-4 tie. They followed that up with a 3-2 lose to Nashville. Aw, that's sick. But don't sweat it, Francis will get Carolina on track before long. He's just that kind of guy.

The season isn't even a week old, but it already has its first casualty. Tampa Bay fired GM Phil Esposito after the men with lightning bolts on their pants opened up 0-1-1. Good thing they didn't lose both games or Espo might have been hung at dawn. Coach Jacques Demers will take over the GM chores and will hopefully guide the Bolts back to respectability.

But the big news in Tampa is, of course, the return of LCS hero and the idol of millions from eight to eighty, Johnny Cullen. Cullen did us all proud by making a successful return to the NHL. He's still looking for his first point, but that's no big thing. Nothin' to it but to do it. We'll have plenty more on Cullen next issue.

The first week of the season also saw the Pittsburgh Penguins declare bankruptcy for the second time in their history, beating the mark previously held by Red Foxx. The decision to file Chapter 11 was apparently made jointly by co-owners Roger Marino and Howard Baldwin. The club has reportedly lost $37 million over the past two seasons and had no other choice in order to find protection from its creditors. All parties insist that this will not affect the daily operations of the hockey team. Good luck.

That's it for now. I've got nothin'. This article would have been much funnier, but I've been typing for 14 straight hours and could use a nap. There's some funnier stuff later on in the issue. Honest. Well, maybe...

Enjoy!